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part three of the story of the pink finger of olde brown hills town as the first sightings of thenortorious finger was first sighted is it one or two fingers as once again the sight of the fingers show them self again dynnargh welclome falite croeso

November 16, 2016

so lets return to the crossroads inn but first I must see paul .so gentall men time to show you to your accommodation in the luxary out out sweet its 3d extra for the olde cock to crow extra its thee going rate and the unions wont let him crow before dawn after all it only takes a minute for paul the cock bird to wake u up as the olde inn keeper opens the door dealer and Chelsea look at the beds oh look Chelsea olde been theres be running water out side the winder oh yes olde fruit how simpley spiffing jolly good show so gentall men dinner is served at 8pm when olde paul crows the hour okay said dealer and Chelsea as dealer trys the bed and says to Chelsea I say olde been there a bit hard as he looks under the olde blanket I say its a bale of hey as Chelsea says well they are modern but mines got green in it oh how frightfull simpley not cricket .as they go out to the bar as thay look at the prices of a flagon of cider at 4d I say bar tender can we have two flaggons of your finest cider im afraid it is be a bit on the flat side I see said Chelsea and dealer as cider bill walses in and bends over to take his wellys off as the bar man pulls the cider into the flaggons all of a sudden he lets out thee biggest fart and makes the cider fizzy as he says did you smell that one as the bar tender says ye bills that let that one fly out as thee bar tender takes the two flaggons to the Chelsea as he says no charge for the fizzy its free that will be 8d me ducks ive only got 2shillings olde been that will be okay ill get you thee change ,as he arrives shortly with 1shilling and 2d change so whats for dinner dealer says well me ducks there be roast pork on the spit the serving wench miss libby spat on the olde boar this be morning he had a good life but thee found him dead only this morning and we don’t get fresh meet very often here shame to let ye goe to waste or there is roast peacock unfortally it lost its pea with tatters carrots and for pudding we got some spotted dick with extra spots on it apparently poor olde dick got the spots when he visited a place called eastern London further from home tis be said he said that the olde prossy of olde banglour green said it was part of the std collection or thee can have rubarb olde tart so what tis to be as dealer and Chelsea looked at each other perplexed at what ye hurd well I think olde inn keeper we will have the roast pea cock that’s l;osts it pee and rubarb and any custard right ho sirs that will be 3and 9 each with two flaggons of cider as ye be cider drinkers I bet ye drinks it all of thee day like cider bill so all in all that will be 7d and 3d me ducks .have ye seen our motto oh yes tis be said we aren’t fussed .really dealer said how frightfully interesting .as the olde inn keeper goes to the kitchen to tell miss libby of the chaps order as he stands by the table wipeing her nose on her apron as she screams out load bloody cooker it don’t bloody work the fire keeps going out why cant we have bleeding parafine like ever y one eles or a rayburn  as the olde inn keeper goes to the stove and gives it a good kicking as the olde cast iron stove bursts in to life as he says to miss libby now cook cook as she says you bloody cook it wont last here he says put this on it metherlated sprits as he goes to the door and says im not fussed as he looks upon younder as he heres the sound of the uttoxeter stage coach coming over the plain as he says out load tis be late today as dealer says I  say whys that well me duck it takes all day for the olde stage to come the long three miles thay have to set off at first light and now tis be nearly dusk as olde paul the cock bird crows so whos on the coach well me ducks tis be the hairy belly dancing girls they came all thee way from a little hamlet in the east called raintree part of thee old spray tan stelltoe ville they started traveling three weeks ago now as the old stage rolls in the country sherrif and the olde town crier says oh ya oh ya tis be on this momentase day the uttoxeter stage has finally arrived into our town as the door creeks open the voice says oh bleeding hell hullo darling im miss mitsey and this is my mate hairy marie as this long green tounge appears and licks the sherrifs ear as he says wow im sherrie all my ducks I know call me thus ,as mitsey says well sherrie honey what a big pistol you got in the hand as sherrie says well we all have big guns here as the barman paul says yes were bigger and still the same price as big bill comes into the bar well as marie says well darling as she snots aint you the biggest thing you ever did see as paul says yes bills the biggest gun slinger in the county do you know he slung his weppons a full 9yards last week and nearly knocked out farmer paul ,as bill put his arm around miss mitsey as miss libby came out from the kitchen wipping her brown as she said to bill billy don’t be a hero don’t be a foll with that olde harlet as miss mitsey says who you callin a harlet bitch as miss libby pulls her by the hair as miss mitsea screams why you bitch as she falls to the ground miss libby jumps on the the chanderleer and drops to the floor and lands straight on mitsea as the swareing continues as miss libby rubs her hands on her face as the spray tan comes off on her hands she says what have you got on your face you tramp and hore unfit mother libby says end of part three

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